


Coming Clean

by hungrygrl



Category: Rizzoli & Isles
Genre: Angst, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-09
Updated: 2017-01-09
Packaged: 2018-09-16 01:35:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,624
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9267797
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hungrygrl/pseuds/hungrygrl
Summary: Not a post-ep but a reimagining of the Dance with the Devil episode, an angsty one, where Jane puts the pressure on Maura and the M.E. snaps.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Original A/N from FF: I started re-watching season 4 on a whim and when I got to the Dance with the Devil episode, got an idea and wrote an angsty version of events.

**Chapter 1**

 

For at least the tenth time, the weary Medical Examiner checks the clock on the wall.

3:13 AM.

Exhausted but determined, Maura dives right back in, making a Y-incision on the third and last body. Truth is, she had been ready to turn in several times in the last few hours. As much as she realizes how important every piece of evidence and clue is in this case, the one that could potentially lock Paddy Doyle up for the rest of his life, she knows she could very easily have gone home to return early the next morning. Coming to work early is nothing new to her, especially for a case as important as this one is.

But Jane has been calling. And texting. Each correspondence asking for an update, asking her to check and then check again for anything she might have missed, and reminding her of how crucial anything she discovers could turn out to be. The detective keeps coming up with details and minutiae for her to make sure to check on and she has, despite her growing frustration.

She has persevered, fought off sleepiness and fatigue with cup after cup of coffee, ignoring every single study she has ever read detailing the negative effects of more than 600mg of caffeine, roughly six cups which is exactly where she's at at by her current count, ingested in a day.

She notices the slight tremor in her fingers and how she has had to pause and cement her next move in her head before letting her fingers work. It goes against her every meticulous and conscientious instinct to proceed despite her exhaustion but her work ethic and that other instinct of doing this for Jane and for the case wins over.

After another painstaking half hour, she gives in to fatigue and decides a short, invigorating nap in her office couch would not hurt.

In uncharacteristic ungraceful fashion, her body drops onto the couch, sleep instantly overcoming her as soon as she lets her eyes close.

* * *

"Dammit, Maura. Why aren't you picking up?" A grouchy Jane mutters to herself frustratedly after the fourth call that goes straight to Maura's voicemail. Even her text has gone unanswered.

Fully aware that the doctor had been at the morgue till at least around midnight, she had thoughtfully stopped to get Maura her favorite nonfat soy latte to combat the effects of insufficient sleep.

Coffee in hand, Jane saunters down to the basement, somewhat frustrated that instead of following leads and digging into the Ghett's car, she's going downstairs to the basement to deliver Maura's caffeine fix.

As she steps out of the elevator, Jane spots Susie approaching.

"Have you heard from Dr. Isles, Susie? Do you know what time she's coming in?" she inquires without preamble.

Susie gives her a confused look.

"Isn't she already in her office? Her door's closed which means she's in there. And to answer your first question, I haven't actually heard from her, I just walked in a few minutes ago," Susie replies helpfully.

Jane grunts out a thank you, frustration increasing by the minute. She swears if she walks in to the doctor doing yoga, she would confiscate and hide every candle and cut up her blue yoga mat into tiny little pieces.

Jane enters Maura's office, fully prepared to rag on the doctor.

When she finds the office dark except for the lavender scented night light on the wall by the foot of the couch, she squints and scans the room for signs of the M.E. She hears light snoring from the couch, walks closer and finds the blonde curled up, neck resting on the arm at an odd angle.

The detective quickly notices that Maura is still in her scrubs, snoring like she's never heard her to before, completely oblivious to the world outside.

She walks around the couch to kneel by the doctor's face. A grimace fleets through her features when she sees up close the odd angle the doctor's neck is in, sure the blonde will wake up with terrible stiffness.

She feels instantly guilty, remembering how many calls and texts she had sent Maura's way the previous night. And then she remembers her text this morning when Maura was not picking up, the reason now right in front of her.

_Where are you, Maur? I don't really have time to go down there now, I have a lot of leads to follow and Ghett's car to take apart with Frost._

Jane growls quietly, at herself. She watches Maura's head, less than an inch away from sliding off the arm of the couch, mouth slightly open in a light snore. She debates whether to wake her or let her sleep, eventually deciding on the former. The right thing to do would be to drive the doctor home to let her shower and rest a few hours at least.

Jane taps Maura on the elbow gently. "Maura...hey, wake up, Maur." She leans in closer when the blonde does not budge. "Maura, come on. Wake up, hon."

The snoring stops and slowly, Maura's eyes open, the face right in front of her startling her. She lets out a cry and recoils sharply.

"Jane!" Her hand goes up to her forehead, instinctively massaging the throbbing on her temples. "You shouldn't have done that, you scared me."

"I'm sorry," Jane offers, "Why didn't you go home? This couch isn't very comfortable."

She receives a half-lidded glare from Maura. "I haven't even finished the autopsy on the third body," Maura informs her as she struggles to sit up, motioning for Jane to give her space. "I started on it but I was too exhausted to finish. I didn't think my half-asleep state would have been beneficial for the case."

"You could have gone home and then come back this morning to finish." Jane gets out of Maura's way, feeling more than a slight hint of irritability from her. "Here, I got you your soy latte," she offers up, remembering the steaming cup she has in her hands.

Maura proceeds to her desk, picking up her purse and coat like she hadn't even heard Jane speak. "For your information, I got your texts last night and…" she pauses, noticing and then reading the new ones she had received while sleeping, her frown seemingly intensifying. Jane scrunches her nose in a grimace, realizing Maura must now be reading the last one she had sent. "...this morning. And I will check on everything you asked me to check on when I return. I'm going home to shower and change, Jane."

"Hey, don't even worry about those, Maur. I'm sure you'll check on those anyway...you know, without me asking or telling you to."

"Why did you then?" Maura startles her with the question, sounding scarily close to being uncharacteristically confrontational. "You know I'm always thorough with my autopsies, Jane. You have even, on more than one occasion, complained that I may be _too_ thorough. So why the sudden concern about it now? Is it because this is about Paddy, my father, and convicting him?"

"Maura, no. Of course not," Jane answers quickly, approaching the blonde and reaching out with a hand to her elbow. She feels a bit of relief when Maura lets her hand linger. "Jesus, I trust your professional and personal integrity, Maura. How can you -"

"Even when it comes to Paddy, Jane?" Maura challenges her.

Jane notes the bags and dark circles under her best friend's eyes, her paleness, and figures the lack of sleep has gotten to her.

"Come on, Maur. You're tired and sleep-deprived. This isn't the time to talk about this. Let me-"

"So there is something to talk about, Jane?" Maura cuts her off. "I thought we had gotten past this after you shot him and we were at odds over it and then we made up. I thought there was no longer a question of which side I'm on."

"There isn't, Maura!" Jane reasons, tempering her frustration. "Come on, let me take you home so you can freshen up and sleep a bit more," Jane pleads, not wanting the situation to escalate.

Maura just stares at her for a long, agonizing moment. "Did you not trust me when I told you the first time that there was absolutely nothing on the first body that would link it back to Paddy?

"I did."

"Then why suggest I check closer to make sure I hadn't missed anything? Which I did, by the way. I redid the autopsy from start to finish." Maura puts her purse back down on the desk, Jane's eyes trailing the movement of her hand.

Not a good sign, she thinks to herself. "I just wanted to make sure, Maur. It didn't mean anything."

"Dammit, Jane. I told you I was sure after the first time. I'm always thorough," Maura reminds her, frustration evident in her tone.

"I know that, but this case is important to me."

"It is to me, too!" Maura explodes, causing Jane to jump back a bit and instantly regret what she had said. She had walked right into that, unknowingly implying that this isn't as important to the doctor. "This is my biological father, Jane. Whether it's to convict him or acquit him, I want accurate evidence, only facts. Or did you think I wasn't going to dig hard enough because I don't want him to be locked up for the rest of his life or maybe face the death penalty?"

Jane takes a deep breath, battling between contrition and her own frustration. "Of course not. That's...that's not fair, Maura. You know I trust your judgment more than anyone else'. But this is your father, even if only biologically, you can't help the emotional involvement and that's expected. You're human, you're not a robot...despite the rumors." She tries to add some levity to the conversation but the joke falls flat.

"I can't believe you, Jane. Do I need to remind you I convinced Hope to testify against him? That's just it, you say you trust my judgment but when it comes to Paddy, you still doubt me. Is this still because I was upset when you shot him?"

Jane groans, running her hand through her curls in frustration.

"Maura, no. We're way past that. I thought we'd put that behind us?" Jane reaches for Maura once again in an attempt to get through to her, grasping her by the elbows.

"I thought so, too," Maura comments quietly, quickly cutting off the detective as she opens her mouth to protest. "I have to go, Jane. I really do need a shower and then I'll be back to finish," she says as she turns to leave.

"Wait, Maura. You can't just -"

Maura turns back around to face her. "I've barely slept, Jane. Or would I need to go completely sleepless and work two straight days in order to prove to you that I'm working hard on this case and doing my job with absolutely no bias?"

Maura sees the pain her words cause, seeing it in Jane's eyes. She feels a pang of guilt and slightly regrets the harsh words. But she is exhausted and frustrated and all she wants to do is leave and soak in her tub and forget about the case and Paddy and Jane for a bit.

So she walks away and leaves Jane to watch her go, still holding a soy latte in her hand.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

 

Despite all of the day's frantic hustling, the incident with Maura early in the morning has barely vacated Jane's mind. However difficult it has been, she has had no choice but to compartmentalize, try and forget about Maura believing that Jane could question both her judgment and integrity. All because of a time in their history she believed they had moved on from but instead continues to threaten the solidity of their relationship.

She has attempted to talk and apologize to Maura but the Medical Examiner had been steadfast in her replies, each time telling Jane that there are more important things for them to focus on right now.

Jane would have disagreed had it not been for her desire not to incite her best friend any more than she already has. Sure, this case is up there in significance and consequence. But definitely not more than her relationship with Maura.

Not even close.

Thus, Jane finds herself taking another harried breath as she prepares to make a trip down to the morgue. One more effort to make things right with her best friend.

Their relationship has been making strides, perhaps even moving beyond the platonic realm. She has felt a lot closer to Maura in recent months, both emotionally and physically. Gone were the hesitant touches and reluctant sharing of emotions and feelings. She has started her days and ended her nights at Maura's more than she has at her own place. Hugs, hands on elbows, arms around shoulders and waists, sleepovers after exhausting work days that end with them sharing a bed have become commonplace. Like something has been simmering just underneath the surface, waiting to boil over.

And now this. This morning blindsided her. They had been fine, at least she had thought so, until this morning. She blames herself and all the pushing and nudging she had done all night, applying pressure on Maura who must have already been feeling so much pressure just from being the daughter about to help convict her mob boss father. She faults herself for being insensitive. She had good intentions but as she's wont to do, she had gone overboard and overstepped boundaries.

And now she has to try and set things right or…

She could not, would not, even imagine what she would do in the event the consequences of her mistakes turn out to be irreversible.

When she gets to Maura's office, she knocks and then walks right in, thinking it best to act normally, not overthink and be too on edge.

Maura looks up from her laptop, acknowledging her with a quick nod before quickly resuming typing.

"Hey," Jane greets her, fighting nerves she's not used to. Not much daunts her. The thought of being the reason for Maura's unhappiness, unfortunately, is one of them. Right at the top of her list.

"Hi. Is there anything you need me to do, Jane?" Though not overtly hostile, Maura's formal tone and the implication of her question unnerve the detective.

"Uh, no. I just…" Jane trails off, swallowing thickly, "I just wanted to check in on you, see if you've been able to rest after uh...after a long night last night." Jane taps a finger on Maura's desk, shifting her weight on each foot nervously. She forces herself to keep her eyes on Maura, willing the blonde to look up and see the sincere sentiment in her eyes. She has no doubt the doctor would soften up a bit when she sees how much she regrets her actions and how much this little misunderstanding is affecting her. But Maura refuses to, as if sensing Jane's intent, continuing to type on her laptop.

"I'm feeling fine, thank you for asking, Jane. But I am also extremely busy. I have to finish this report and then I intend to go back to the morgue to finish the third autopsy." Maura does gift Jane with a quick glance, merely looking in her direction without establishing eye contact.

Jane takes a deep breath, exhaling in an extended and heavy puff. "Look, Maur. I'm sorry about last night. It wasn't my intention to push you too much, much less doubt your integrity. I know you'll never half-ass anything," she pauses, mumbling a quick apology about the crude choice of words, "regardless of who's involved in the case. I just...I hate being the cause of you being upset or...or unhappy."

Maura's head snaps up in attention, finally awarding Jane a direct gaze. "You think _you_ are the reason I'm unhappy?" she asks Jane with a slight frown.

"You're obviously upset with me, Maur. And rightfully so," Jane replies quietly, holding Maura's gaze as she smiles grimly at the blonde.

"I am," Maura confirms, causing Jane to wince at her directness which is nothing unusual, actually one of the doctor's more endearing traits. Just a tad unnerving in the current situation. "But to think that you are the _sole_ reason for my unhappiness, is a tad presumptuous, don't you think? Considering everything else that's happening, I have plenty of current _and_ potential circumstances to be unhappy about. I'm sorry but…" Maura stops abruptly, obviously deciding whether to voice the rest of her thoughts. Ultimately, her penchant for truth-telling prevails. "I'm sorry but not everything is about you, Jane," she finishes, holding Jane's gaze for a fleeting second before redirecting her gaze to her laptop.

Jane's jaw clenches tightly from a mixed stew of emotions - hurt, anguish, regret.

_If you're conflicted, Doctor, I won't ask you to help investigate this._

AUSA King's words to Maura after she had asked for confirmation that they would be seeking the death penalty for Paddy Doyle quickly flashes through Jane's mind. She should have realized that Maura had to have already been bothered by the prospect of everyone questioning her commitment to convicting Doyle if only because of their familial connection.

Curtailing her instinct to be on the defensive, Jane instead nods, needing time to clear the lump in her throat. Maura's words had hurt, for sure. And she knows her best friend is aware of this, judging by the quick, almost repentant glance she discreetly shoots Jane's way.

"Of course, Maur. You don't have to tell me that, I know there's a lot about this case that's not easy for you. I'm sorry I haven't been more sensitive," Jane offers quietly.

She watches Maura sigh, squeezing her eyes shut for a moment, her gaze landing once again on Jane once they open. "Not everything is about me either, Jane. Can we put off this conversation for another time? Please?" Maura asks, for the first time lacking bite in her tone. "We have less than 24 hours to come up with something to help King convict Paddy. Let's focus on that."

Jane nods, realizing the wisdom of Maura's words. It, however, does not make it any easier to turn around and leave knowing the gap between them remains in place.

Still, she does. She leaves after giving Maura a quiet but unequivocal "Ok, we'll talk when this case is over."

* * *

As tempting as it is to head straight for Maura's place, Jane holds herself back. The case against Paddy had gone well, with the combination of Hope's testimony and all the evidence they have managed to gather all but sealing his fate.

Jane had been relieved but her very next thought after hearing the good news from King had been about Maura. Not solely about having that talk to clear the air but also about seeking her out to offer whatever comfort Maura would be willing to take from her. Paddy Doyle is still, after all, Maura's father.

And she had just been a big part in assuring he'd be locked up for a long time.

So she sends her a text after a couple of unanswered calls, not receiving a reply to it either. Against her better judgment, she calls Angela to check if Maura's actually home. Susie had informed her that the ME had left a little earlier than usual, endorsing whatever work was left to be finished to the assistant.

Angela confirms that the light in the main house had indeed been on a while earlier indicating Maura was home. With uncharacteristic hesitation, Angela had also asked if everything was ok. The older Rizzoli knew her stubbornly self-reliant daughter wouldn't have called her, instead of Maura herself, if everything between the two women had been fine.

Jane gives her mother an unintelligible, mumbled excuse, quickly hanging up before she gets deluged with more questions.

Her right hand combs through her curls almost violently before pushing the heel of her palm between her brows. She's had a throbbing headache all day.

Highly likely from Maura-related anxiety and distress.

Her frustration after a third unanswered text comes to a boil, leading to her sending a fourth one without thinking.

_I know you're home, Maura. We really need to talk, this is killing me. I do still have a key and can get in to your house, you know._

Picking up her keys, Jane quickly dons her blazer as she says a quick goodbye to Korsak and Frost. Before she even leaves the building, her phone chimes. Her heart thuds louder when she sees notification of a text from Maura, half-expecting a confirmation that she would be home and waiting for her.

_Don't, please._

The two simple words stop her dead in her tracks, like a punch in the gut. Tears swell in her eyes, borne out of frustration and torment. She can't believe how stubborn Maura's being. She begins to type a response informing Maura that she will nevertheless be at her house in less than hour and they _will_ talk.

But when she rereads the text, the plea in those two words get to her, her frustration quickly redirected to herself. How could she continue to be insensitive and disregard Maura's wishes?

The typed text erased and discarded, Jane makes the difficult decision to stop pushing and leave Maura alone. For now.

As soon as she lowers herself onto the driver's seat, she feels the weight of her anxiety envelop her and finds herself crying. A few hard slams of her palm against the steering wheel unloads but a small portion of the weight she carries.

Her hands furiously wipe at her now moist eyes, the throbbing in her head now a full-blown hammer striking the walls of her skull. She makes a quick decision. Instead of the doctor's house, she drives toward the Dirty Robber.

If Maura wouldn't listen to her, maybe a few bottles of beer would.

* * *

What Jane hadn't known was that Maura had not consciously gone on to ignore her texts and calls. She had just been exhausted, physically and emotionally drained.

The case has taken its toll on the doctor. At the end of the day spent mostly in court, listening to testimony after testimony practically ensuring Paddy's conviction, she had felt like a marathon runner at the finish line. Relieved but utterly weary. When Jane started calling and sending her texts, she had not replied simply because she had no energy to. For once, she had not been too concerned about being selfish or inconsiderate.

She had just wanted to relax, forget for a moment.

She had wanted space, a moment to herself where she didn't feel like all eyes were on her, watching her actions, her reactions, her emotions.

If Jane had just shown up, she would have let her in, maybe even welcomed her presence. But when she received that last text from the detective practically threatening to barge in, something had snapped in her.

Again.

The feeling of Jane crowding her, pushing her relentlessly, insisting on getting her way returned and overwhelmed her. So she replied, hoping two words would suffice to abort Jane's plans.

She hadn't heard from her since. And Jane had not shown up either.

Now, she feels an inexplicable morsel of disappointment, mixed in with relief that Jane had actually respected her wishes.

After an extended soak in her tub, Maura decides to head straight to bed after quickly checking her phone, only half-willing to acknowledge wanting to hear from Jane. She may have been and still be upset with her but she cannot deny needing - wanting - to be comforted by her best friend.

Slipping under the warmth of her sheets, she stares at her phone and the disappointing lack of anything from Jane.

And that's when the tears come. A rush of emotion, a culmination of all the stresses and anxieties from Paddy's case, and now this discord with Jane.

There is discord with herself, too.

Half of her wants Jane here, next to her in her bed as they have come to find themselves more and more lately after the more difficult cases, her best friend's arms around her, comforting her. Or hers around Jane, whichever scenario satisfied their yearning better.

While the other half of her still reels from what she has perceived, however inaccurately or irrationally, as Jane's lack of trust and confidence in her ability to distance herself emotionally from Paddy and convicting him of his crimes.

Maura literally cries herself to sleep, hoping a few dormant hours would allow her body and mind much needed rest and, more importantly, rid her of residual feelings of resentment toward the person she has come to accept is most important to her, Jane.

* * *

Hours later, she's not sure how many, just that it's not enough, she finds herself roused by Angela's loud voice coming from the direction of her front door.

"Jane what in heaven's name are you doing out here?"

Angela's voice penetrates her sleep-addled senses, pushing her to instinctively roll out of bed towards the front door, slightly frustrated by the disturbance but too concerned not to check. Especially at the mention of Jane's name.

Maura opens the door, finding Jane trying zealously to shush her mother.

She can't help but notice the detective appears to be wearing the same clothes from yesterday, her brain recollecting the other woman's brief visit to her office. When Jane turns, finally noticing the woman standing at the door, Maura's eyes are immediately drawn toward Jane's bloodshot ones.

Their gazes lock, each reflecting the uncertainty, the questions, the remorse in the other's.

"Don't shush me, Jane Clementine Rizzoli!" Angela scolds with a finger pointed toward her daughter, oblivious to the moment between the two. "Have you been sitting out here all night? Do you realize how dangerous that is and that you can get sick?"

Jane breaks their stare regretfully, head dropping to her chest, the very image of surrendering to exhaustion and weariness. "I'm a cop, Ma, remember?" she replies weakly. "And not now. Please?"

The lack of punch in Jane's tone appears to penetrate Angela's motherly preoccupations. "Ok," she relents, "But you better get your butt in the house right now," she pauses, acknowledging Maura with a look, "or...get in your car and go home." She keeps her eyes on the other woman she considers a second daughter, gazing at her with eyes both questioning and sympathetic.

Maura nods briefly, unable to keep her eyes off of the taller brunette. She has to try hard to keep her fingers to herself, away from the curtain of wayward curls concealing Jane's face from her. She barely registers Angela turning to leave after giving both her and Jane a quick hug.

"Jane..."

Head down, hands folded meekly in front of her, Jane refuses to look up. Her voice when she speaks is at once raspy and timid, breaking. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, Maura. Have I ruined everything again? I am so so sorry."

Maura's eyes widen, hearing the desperation and anguish in Jane's voice and then watching her shoulders begin to shake almost violently.

Her own tears begin to fall as she steps over the threshold and wraps her arms around Jane who, almost immediately, begins to cry and tremble even more.

"Goodness, you're freezing, Jane!" Maura exclaims as one of her hands connects with Jane's neck. She, however, does not think to get the brunette inside, instead wrapping her arms tighter around the still shaking form and using her hands to rub warmth wherever she can reach. Jane's back, around her sides, her arms.

"I'm sorry, Maur," Jane implores quietly, mouth pressed against Maura's head. "I just wanted...needed to talk to you."

"We'll talk, Jane. We will, I promise. But first, let's go inside." Maura slowly unwraps her arms from around the brunette, sliding one hand down to grasp Jane's.

Jane lets herself be led, allowing her hand to squeeze Maura's the entire time it takes for them to walk into the house. To her surprise, Maura keeps walking, bypassing the living room and instead heading for her bedroom. She stops when they get inside the bathroom, gently backing Jane up against the sink.

"Were you just sitting outside the whole night?" Maura helps Jane take her blazer off. Between the centralized heat and the blonde's proximity, Jane feels significantly warmer now.

"No I...I got here I don't know, maybe around two. I couldn't sleep but I didn't want to wake you so I figured I'd wait in my car," Jane admits sheepishly, embarrassed by her actions. "I was also a bit too...buzzed so I figured I'd wait it out in my car. I knew you'd be up before 6 and when you weren't I...I couldn't bring myself to knock or call or something." Jane halts, getting a bit lost in her story when she feels Maura's fingers reaching inside her waistband to pull her shirt out. "What are you doing?"

"You have a key." Maura halts her actions, having already succeeded in untucking Jane's shirt, and looks up at Jane, ignoring the brunette's question. "You should have used it. You know I wouldn't have minded."

They stare at each other for a few beats. "I _didn't_ know that." She does not need to explain her reply to Maura. The doctor knows this goes back to her two-word text.

The blonde sighs, one hand perching on the sink right next to Jane's hip, leaving their bodies even closer. "Jane, I'm sorry. I just needed space, a little breathing room, yesterday." Maura's free hand reaches up to Jane's cheek. "You are always welcome to use your key to get in. It's _your_ key to use _anytime_. No exceptions. Ok?"

"Even when we're fighting or you're mad at me?" The questions chips off some of the tension between them, eliciting a small smile from each one.

"Even then. And even when _you're_ mad at me."

"I'm sorry." This time, Jane initiates the contact, most of her trepidation gone. Her left hand rests lightly on a robe-covered hip, one of her fingers tapping against the soft fabric.

"I'm sorry, too, Jane." Maura's hand moves from the sink to Jane's waist, thumb grazing over the thin material of Jane's shirt. "I know I'd hurt you with my words. I hadn't meant to. I have just been feeling so much pressure to prove that I could be objective and do everything I can to convict Paddy. I just didn't expect to feel it from you, too."

"I know that. I was just too stupid and too focused on getting Paddy locked up to realize I was being insensitive. And then yesterday, when you still refused to talk, I just...I'm sorry I kept pushing."

Maura nods, acknowledging the apology. "I needed space, Jane. I was hurt. But I was also grieving."

Jane exhales roughly, inwardly reprimanding herself. She slides her hand from Maura's hip all the way around the blonde's waist, pulling the doctor against her. "But if I hadn't fucked up, you would have let me comfort you," she laments, mouth pressed against Maura's hair. "I wanted to comfort you and I couldn't. Instead, I added to your pain."

Maura returns the hug, embracing Jane fully. "And I wanted you to, Jane. I was hoping you'd show up and when you didn't, I was too stubborn to ask."

The confession suffuses Jane with warmth. They rest weary bodies against each other, both content for the moment to seek the comfort they had denied themselves.

And then, almost as an afterthought, Jane asks, "You know why I had been pushing you though, right?" She goes on to explain her actions, not waiting for a reply. "I just didn't want you to have any reason to doubt yourself, to doubt that you had done everything within your power to help convict him in case...things didn't go our way and he walks away free. I know you, Maura. You'd go through everything you'd done, tell yourself you might have missed something. I just wanted you to not have any reason to do that and I ended up pushing too hard and I...I almost ended up ruining the best thing in my life."

Jane folds herself around the smaller woman, nuzzling her face against Maura's neck as the latter reaches up to wind her arms around Jane's shoulders and back.

And everything that's been building up in recent weeks, maybe even months or years, comes back to them. The line they'd been toeing appearing so much closer. They feel their toes at the very edge, only this time approaching confidently and with purpose.

If only one of them would step up do it, cross the line.

They both do.

Maura turns her head just enough to press her lips close to Jane's ear before sliding down, resting over a strong jaw.

Jane, feeling warm lips against her skin, tightens her grip around Maura, her mouth finding its way toward the doctor's neck, kissing the scar that reminds her how she had almost lost her once before. Never again.

Their mouths eventually find each other, fusing with such relief and joy. They kiss each other for a long time, lips landing in many places, kissing away guilt and remorse and sins now forgotten and absolved. With this, their first kiss after what has felt like an eternity of waiting, they finally come clean.

**-FIN-**


End file.
